I have now waited in hospitals on four occasions to know whether the love of my life, my wife Treena, was going to live or die.
It has never been without the stress that must accompany watching a loved one in physical distress. However, on three occasions it has got me searching for creative ways to help her avoid the harm that causes such pain.
Frankly, I don’t know how I would ever had had the depth of devotion needed to keep on searching for new solutions had it not been for these traumatic experiences.
I want you to know about these events because then you may understand me when I talk about going beyond immediate self-interest.
I am sure that my self-interest is pretty normal. Without it we simply could not survive in this quite dangerous daily environment. Just looking left and right before crossing a road is being immediately self interested but caring for someone else often means putting that self on the back burner.
Several years ago I stumbled over yet another acronym – this one for the word care that became C.A.R.E and spelled out (at least for me) the words…Concern, Altruism, Restoration and Enthusiasm.
Just for the record I can give you the dictionary definition for each of these words and then link them into one paragraph that has helped me enormously in my pursuit for answers to many needs…
CONCERN: To have ones mind filled with…
ALTRUISM: A selfless devotion for another person (other than oneself)
RESTORATION: To return something (or someone) to their original design intention.
ENTHUSIASM: The Greek word ‘en theos’ meaning ‘in God’.
So here it is:
To care is to have ones mind filled with a selfless devotion for another person (so that they can be) returned to their original design intention…in God.
My take on this is that the original design intention of everything has, at its core, the word resilient and even though all matter degrades over time (entropy) there is overwhelming evidence of natural ‘bounce back’ or what we may see as healing.
This is why I am so committed to replace harm with healing, especially since I have been a witness to that creative process under extremely trying circumstances.
I do hope that my small CARE contribution may help you in your search for a more creative lifestyle for yourself and those you love.
It was on the forth hospital event that circumstances moved rapidly beyond our lifestyle control.
Treena had gone in for a simple day surgery of less than half an hour. She came home and about six hours later began to experience a severe infection that eventually took her life.
My devotion to her was matched by her love for me. Whatever we did we achieved together…for each other’s sake.
We had a very full and rewarding life and the last twenty eight years (from her 53rd year to 81) was gained by simply seeking to do less harm to each other and to link our savings to other people’s severe distress.
Treena did not lose the battle, her multiple acts of self-discipline and self-sacrifice have made her an amazing “Flash of Silver” to be admired right up until the end. My work is now to pass on what we achieved as partners in purpose.