14. A Journey Resumed

Aug 08, 2015

14. A Journey Resumed

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All for them! A new job in a new country and the need to provide; all this takes time, focus and commitment. But what about the “heart felt” needs? Did you ever put achievement before family?

Hope dashed? Hope is a fine thing…until it is “dashed” suddenly leaving a sense of despair…even anger? Did this ever happen to you…and how did you deal with it?

Blame: It’s so easy to blame someone else for causing pain but did they strike the first blow? Did you ever seek to justify your withdrawal from someone you blamed for hurting you?

One Comment

  1. Lynn Severance Says: February 29, 2016 1:59 am

    All for them! I have never had a “them” in the sense of a marriage bond and with a child or children where my focus and commitment could possibly become divided – where attentions of the heart could take second place, even if unintentionally. I feel heartbroken in reading of this part of Graham and Treena’s journey – grateful I know ahead of the books unfolding that there was a happy ending.

    Hope dashed? The story is longer than could be expressed here but – yes. The hope surrounded a journey toward marriage with a man I had dated for 3 and a half years. We were inseparable and yet the move to marry came slowly. I was in my mid 30s, obviously not desperate, but decisions needed to be made and we were in agreement that marriage had always been a goal. They were wonderful months and then, in a turn that set me upside down, a decision had to be made to call off our intentions. He was in a state of confusion with what had caused the cessation. It was an insurmountable obstacle. But I loved him. I did not love what he was telling me. But I loved him and walked with him through the transitions in his life (and mine) and we remained friends. I had times of anger (not at him) but anger about dashed hopes that only God could eventually soothe and who showed me the depths of what unconditional love can cost.

    Blame: Hmmm – trying to distinguish this question with “did I ever blame” someone for causing pain? No. Not in an emotional relationship. I unintentionally caused a man I was dating pain when I had to back off from seeing him. The question that caused me the turn was that he was not a Christian. I was not ready to marry (nor had he asked me) but feelings were leaking out that caused me to be concerned that he was leaning in that direction. Neither one of us handled it well. I was 28 at the time.

    He knew I was a Christian. I had been enjoying his friendship and him but was not in love We had a few awkward dates after that time – my stumbling out the focus I’d need to go onward would need to be with a Christian. We drifted apart. It was some months later I met the man mentioned above that had the qualities more suited – but in the end – even his being a Christian could not overcome the obstacle we met.

    Ironically, some years after we broke up, the man who I had unintentionally hurt got in touch with me. He had married and moved back east and was back in Seattle on business. We met and it was THEN we were able to talk through that time of pain and came to a caring resolve. We ( he and his wife and children) are friends to this day. I have stayed with them when back east a few times. Go figure!! Life. Pain. Expectations. Blame. Humanness. Unconditional Love. The journey we are on has all kinds of ups and downs as we are asked to learn the many dimensions of what it takes to love another.

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