2. Acquisition

May 05, 2015

2. Acquisition

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Appearance and Ownership: How about your very first item of clothing and a prized possession that set you apart from others?

Distant Dads: The Chinook passes a “larger version of himself” coming upstream. Did you have only a passing relationship with your dad? How is it now for your son?

Injustice: Have you tried as hard as you knew how and still failed, even to the point of being punished unjustly? Later on did you back off rather than lose the “race”?

9 Comments

  1. Jean Sozio Says: October 21, 2015 11:30 pm

    1. An English bike I got for Christmas – super cool
    2. Go back to question one – my response #2
    3. Witnessing to unsaved family members – yes.

  2. Christy Says: November 11, 2015 3:53 pm

    I was one of the first girls in my class to get an American Girl doll, and I did feel very special because of it.

    I have definitely tried as hard as I could and still failed. Looking back I could really relate to Graham’s race scene. I have often sabotaged myself, maybe so I can be in greater control instead of someone else. This chapter really got me thinking about some of my own behavior.

  3. Bluefish62 Says: December 30, 2015 11:44 am

    1. I remember a very pretty blue dress I wore around age 3-4 for a picture. It had a collar with lace flowers on it. I’m not sure if it was a hand me down or not because almost all of my clothes were due to my three older sisters. It wasn’t until I grew to be the tallest girl that I finally began to get new clothes! This was in my teenage years.
    As for a prized possession, hum. That’s a difficult one. I started writing in a little flowery red journal (that had a useless little lock 🙂 ) at the age of 13. Over the last 40 years I have written thousands of pages, off and on, in various tablets, notebooks, journals, etc. etc. I still, however have that little now faded, pink journal, to this day. I don’t write as much on paper, but have used my blog as a means of expression this past year. Most of my recipes have some sort of story or humor attached to them. 🙂
    2. My father was a strong man, but treated pretty brutally by his father. Spare the rod and spoil the child to the sick extreme. It’s very sad. I think it was hard for Daddy to show love and he mostly tried to use fear to control us. Mainly I remember just being afraid of him growing up, while at the same time, yearning for his attention and affection. He told me one day, “you NEVER finish anything you start!” It hurt so much. Maybe this is one of the reasons why I never want to give up. On anything or anyone, even when it’s a lost cause and hurtful to myself. Who knows……So unfortunately, his show of love and affection were few and far between. As my father aged, he was great with my sons and we miss him terribly to this day. I could never talk to or stand up to my father, without bursting into tears, until around the age of 29-30. Pretty sure I was crying then too, as I finally asserted my independence. Sad, right? Well my four sons lost their father and both grandfather’s within a nine month period in 1999. I weep, to this day, that they have no father. Christmas day I wept with my second son, who’s aged 27 now. Through tears he said, “I just want to talk to my Dad so bad Mom.” He was 10 when he passed. Argh, I do hate this situation at times.
    3. Whoa, which one of the hundred of times?? Most recently in the last two jobs within the State & County sector. Horrible. I was crucified for things I never did, worked more hours than most and more diligently. Was set up, lied about, belittled and it didn’t matter what I did. It was never good enough. I’m not a quitter and usually hang on till the bitter end. Numerous times to my own detriment. I’ve learned now this is not always a good thing; perseverance in all situations. I saw it as God literally forcing me out of situations I did not need to be involved in (i.e. those jobs) and into where I needed to be. Like what I’m doing right now! Chasing my dream, finally!

  4. Carol Ritchie Says: February 10, 2016 12:24 am

    1. My friends gave me an ambush makeover when I was in elementary school. I was a tomboy who showed horses, so my fashion sense was very limited. My friends found all the beautiful clothes in my closet. I’ll never forget the pretty scarf and dress they found for me. I felt like a princess.

    2. My father was an Episcopal priest most of his time was spent with parishioners. I definitely felt in some ways he was a distant father. He did make up for it by supporting me and my horse show career.

    3. When I was showing my horse at the county fair the first year, I was a little nervous about the show jumping class. My leader told me to miss the jump if I felt that I could make it. So what happened was my horse was wise to this, and we missed almost every single jump. That is, instead of going over the jump, we would go around it!

    A few years later and a little more confidence, I went to another show jumping event. My horse spooked at the very first jump and refused to go over it but I ended up going over the horse and off to the side. i still had the reins in my hand, so I was dragged a few feet when my horse backed up. I realized then why everyone paid an ambulance fee up front as part of your registration! i didn’t give up, by the end of the show we jumped every jump clean! whew!

  5. Carol Ritchie Says: February 11, 2016 8:55 pm

    One other thing. . .I was sorry to hear you had to give up your tin of Lyles Golden Syrup, that is so wrong!!! 😉

  6. Lynn Says: February 15, 2016 3:05 pm

    Appearance and Ownership: I am searching for a means to respond for my recall is coming up “empty” or at best fuzzy. My first 5 years of life were spent in Seattle in the home my mother was able to buy with some estate monies left to her. It provided a home for my grandmother – her mother – and my two then teenaged uncles, my two brothers and I. My father was serving overseas as it was the time of WWII ( obviously on leave a couple of times as my mother conceived; lost one child and then birthed my younger brother). I have no visual recall of my father until age 5 – other than our saying our goodnight prayers with his photo by our bedside – when we, as a family, began our nomadic life style because of my father’s Marine Corp career. A tradition that began before the time of that first move away from Seattle, involves a “possession” which was my grandmother insisting she take “us” ( my brothers and I ) to a special shoe store to be fitted “properly” for a sturdy pair of shoes. Do I remember every pair she bought and that I wore? No. What I do remember was the loving and sacrificial act of love on the part of my grandmother – a “possession” still worn sturdily within my heart.

    Distant Dad: My father was a literal distant figure not being present at my birth and my having no recall of him until he came home from WWII to Seattle and we then ( our family of 5 ) moved to California. He is someone I never felt I could connect to. I surely wanted to. He provided well for our family in all the external kinds of ways. As an adult, who now knows more about relationships, I’d say he had never been “fathered” himself so that he knew the need to be emotionally affirming to others. His “possession” (my opinion) was his status in his military career and it was behind that status where he hid. He was not one to compliment or boost any confidence – at least in me as the only daughter. As I write these comments, my father is still alive, just having had his 97th birthday. He lives in southern CA ( I am in a city near Seattle) and In 1968 he divorced my mother to marry a woman with whom he had been having a 2 year affair. It was his only experience of unfaithfulness but it had rippling effects – even with we young adult children – when his new wife insisted he disown all who he had known “before her” except some of his close military comrades. Distant. What an appropriate word to describe my father who I have continued to reach out to all these years (via cards) for as distant as he has been ( in all ways ), I choose to honor him as the one who God used to give me life and to spare my life the lonely place of bitterness.

    Injustice: This theme coming on the heels of my just sharing about my father would put that relationship in the race for my feeling betrayed ( a type of injustice ) as I have persevered to love in spite of rejection. My family ( with some good reasons you may be picking up here ) is very non-communiative. I seemed to get all the “exuberance” genes and even though I can feel I have failed when trying to talk to them and get little to no response, I know deeply within that I have not failed the person I am – nor given up on the most important of life’s gifts: “To love one another as I have loved you” – and the pursuit to love unconditionally.

  7. Kerryn Says: April 14, 2016 7:24 am

    1. Appearance & ownership: Hmmm…. I couldn’t answer the clothing part at first or a first prize possession. Then I remembered an item of clothing that was special to me, but was made for my doll. I was 4 when I received a doll (Sue) with a beautiful wedding dress for Christmas. My Mum was in hospital having just given birth to her 3rd child, my youngest brother, on Christmas Eve. So Christmas was with Dad. Apparently I took off the bride dress from my doll on Christmas morning & couldn’t put it back on, so I asked Dad to do it for me. When he struggled I said that Father Christmas did a much better job!!! (Dad had dressed the doll to wrap it for Christmas!) The bride dress was made by Mum, by cutting off a length from her own wedding gown to create it. Special! I only threw it out a few months ago, as it was moth eaten & we’re culling to move house & downsize!
    2. Distant Dads: Dad worked hard, doing 2 jobs each week & at one time he had 3 jobs! He worked his way up the ladder in the bank, pumped fuel in a fuel station on weekends & cleaned the bank during the week. So I didn’t see him much until we moved to a country town when I was aged 10, when he was determined to spend more time with his family & only had the job in the bank. We had lots of wonderful camping holidays & weekend outings. He was a very hands on Dad, having learned how to care for children, as the eldest of 5 children with an ill father. My Dad was loving, encouraging & would walk on coals to help us if needed. I miss him terribly since he died in 2007. I know I’m privileged to have had such a loving father.
    3. Injustice: I had trouble thinking of areas where I’d failed & backed off. I’m the sort of personality that if I fail I’m even more determined to achieve it & won’t give up until I’ve “got it!” My first sentence was apparently “I do it!” Having had brothers & uncles I grew up being used to challenges & I was never one to be outdone, just coz I was a girl! When I failed Year 12 (during a really tough year with my Dad’s health) I was told it wasn’t worth going back as I wouldn’t pass & wouldn’t get into teacher’s college! That was red rag to a bull!!!! I went back to do Year 12 again, passed & then did very well at teacher’s college & was one of the first to get a permanent full time job in the Ed Dept. Sheer grit determination!! However, I will say that I never had to suffer such awful dealings as Graham went through. I’m not sure how I would have dealt with circumstances like that! I’m guessing it would have broken me though. Being punished unjustly brings thoughts to mind of my Mum giving me a hard time & getting angry if I mention anything about my faith. That continues to this day. I just pray for the Holy Spirit to do a special work in her heart.

  8. Dedra Says: May 27, 2016 2:48 pm

    1. Mother made me the prettiest clothes especially a poodle skirt and a skirt with hearts for Valentine’s Day. Of course my buck shoes were quite treasured.
    2. My Dad and I were very close. I could talk to him like no one else. He was a good listener and then wisely didn’t tell me what to do. He told me what he would do, which I did.
    3. Yes and Oh Yes!

  9. Rhonda Says: August 6, 2016 12:09 am

    Appearance and Ownership: How about your very first item of clothing and a prized possession that set you apart from others? My mom used to make identical dress for me and her. I always felt so pretty in them.

    Distant Dads: The Chinook passes a “larger version of himself” coming upstream. Did you have only a passing relationship with your dad? How is it now for your son? My dad died when I was 9 mos. old. When I was 2 my mom remarried. The photos that were taken of my family always showed me standing by my mothers side. In the photos of me and my step-father, I am crying and pushing him away. They divorced when I was 14. I told my mom then that I didn’t hate my step-father, I just wanted to know who my father was. In my early years when I asked relatives what my dad was like, they told me to forget about it and move on, he’s dead and talking about him won’t bring him back and I shouldn’t be so sensitive about it. My mom said she was sorry she didn’t realize I wanted to know about my dad. She was just trying to get on with her life. When I was 52 years, my mom passed away, I spoke with my step-dad and told him that I just wanted my dad and me pushing him away had nothing to do with him, it was me not knowing how to deal with the situations. To my surprise, he told me he never felt like I pushed him away and he is blessed to have me for a daughter. We hugged and cried. I call him dad now and I am grateful to have him in my life.

    Injustice: Have you tried as hard as you knew how and still failed, even to the point of being punished unjustly? Later on did you back off rather than lose the “race”? When I was 5 years, visiting my grandparents, one of my jobs for the summer was to vacuum the house. I was a people please even then and always did the best I could at everything. My grandmother made me stand and watch her redo the vacuuming and told me I will never amount to anything. I can’t do anything right and will always be a failure. For the longest time I figured why should I try anything, I would fail at it anyway. Late in my teens I realized that not trying is true failing and I was the one who made grandma’s words true. With years of counseling and life experience, I have come a long way. To some degree, I still self-sabotage and it’s hard for me to take risks. I know better intellectually, but those old tapes are so ingrained, I really have to watch when they start playing in my head. For many years, I blamed my grandma, but as the years pasted, I realized hurting people hurt people and grandma was not a happy person. I also came to learn that I have control over my thoughts, actions, and words (it’s a full time job). I was the one who chose to believe the lies about me. Don’t you just love hind-sight and the wisdom that comes with age!

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